How Long Island moms of non-driving teens, tweens juggle after-school activities

They hide in plain sight, this ragtag fleet of road warriors carrying out meticulously planned, tightly timed missions, circulating on our streets and highways, slowing down only to pick up and drop off cargo in an ever-fluctuating loop, or waiting patiently in parking lots, bathed in the glow of a laptop, cellphone or Kindle.

This is not Amazon delivery; it is MUber (what we've dubbed mom Uber), an ad hoc volunteer taxi service composed of mothers (mostly), dads, grandparents, carpools and some paid help, dedicated to the mission of getting modern pre-driver's license Long Island teenagers to the many school and extracurricular activities that make up today’s high school experience.

If you think the kids’ schedules are exhausting, say the parents, try maintaining an unpaid side hustle as their chauffeur.

"Every day is crazy," says Dara Caramanico-Broyles, 47, a Suffolk County Police Department officer and mother of three from Amityville. "I can’t even remember sometimes where I had to go; I have put in 250 miles and a full tank of gas between Saturday and Sunday and only been to Amityville, Lindenhurst and Hempstead."

Adding to the hustle is the anti-driving anecdotes told by Gen Zers, who are nationally less interested in getting their license than generations before them, according to national statistics. The proportion of American 16-year-olds with a driver’s license fell from roughly half in 1983 to 25% in 2022, according to the Federal Highway Administration's most recent data. On Long Island, about a third of 16- and 17-year-olds got their junior driver’s licenses, according to the latest New York State Department of Motor Vehicles data from May. DMV spokesperson Walter McClure says the agency doesn't track year-over-year comparisons. Coupled with the increasing cost of gas, maintenance and safety concerns, car ownership isn't top of mind for many young adults. So how are they getting around? 

That's where MUber comes in. 

THE ROAD TOLL IT TAKES

While her oldest is now 19 and away at college, Caramanico-Broyles’ time on the road hasn’t decreased. Daughter Lily, 16, is a rising senior at Holy Trinity High School on the school and studio dance teams, training 30 hours a week. Son Bentley, 14, started at Holy Trinity this fall, adding high school soccer to his multiple club teams. Attending school outside their neighborhood means long drives for after-school activities and socializing.

On a typical Saturday, Caramanico-Broyles drops Lily at dance at 8 a.m., goes home, drops Bentley at soccer at 9:45 a.m., picks up Lily at 10 a.m., goes to Bentley’s game at 10:30 a.m., takes Lily to Trinity at 1 p.m. to perform in a halftime show, then returns to the dance studio — and that’s on a weekend with no travel competitions or tournaments off-Island. Caramanico-Broyles’ husband pitches in but works long hours for the Long Island Rail Road and as Copiague fire chief. "He is working overtime," she says. "Someone’s gotta pay for all these activities." The family recently downsized from a Suburban to a subcompact SUV to save on gas.

She gets help from her mom, who lives close by and drives a minivan to accommodate her nine grandchildren.

MAKING THE MOST OF CAR TIME

Like other parents in this grind, Caramanico-Broyles uses wait time in the car to catch up or wind down, reviewing music for Lily’s solo routines or playing solitaire.

Allison Chaplar, 49, of Massapequa, takes her in-car time to the next level. "I turned my car into a wellness spa," says the mother of two non-driving teens. "It contains my Kindle, my crochet bag and my Mac Book, plus an audiobook. This summer I was able to crochet two blankets to donate and I read five books, just in my car." She is equipped with snacks, pit stops ("McDonald’s fries and dirty Pepsi; highly recommend"), heated/cooling seats and special automated scents.

Music teacher Kelly Tesar, 43, of Massapequa Park, uses her in-car wait time to select music for her Mommy and Me classes, attend work-related meetings or craft while her kids are at musical theater classes or after-school activities, soccer and football. She says there are other hidden perks to MUber life.

"When you first have kids, it’s a whole new chapter, trying to find parents to click with, and when you find them, you want to hold on to that," she says. "Six of us met in dance class when our girls were 2 years old. The girls are all doing different things, but we moms are all still in the hustle and that glues us together. We still see each other once a month 14 years later."

One of those moms is Samantha Gandini, 44, a dental assistant from Wantagh. She travels up and down the East Coast for her 16-year-old daughter’s elite softball, plus her 14-year-old’s tumbling training and school cheer. Before her husband retired, Gandini was taking time off work, paying a babysitter and scrambling for carpools to get it done. So why do it?

"This little window I have with my children is important to me," she says. "I want to make memories with them, so one day they look back and say, ‘Wow, how did she do that?’ "

Other moms agree. In addition to wanting the kids to be happy, find their passion, learn discipline and teamwork, and develop social skills, MUber parents say car time is the new family time, when important conversations happen, conversations that they will miss when their children start driving.

Dara Caramanico-Broyles’ daughter, Lily, confirms it.

"I appreciate it, because I know I don’t go to school close and we travel a lot, and she never complains," Lily Broyles says. "And there are just things I want to talk to her about; she’s involved in my life, in the things that I want to do, my friends. I like to talk to her."

Moments like that, say these parental chauffeurs, make the time, expense and trouble all worthwhile.

"You have time with them," says Dara Caramanico-Broyles. "As annoying as it is to drive all the time, when it’s over I am going to be sad."

A REAL UBER ALTERNATIVE 

Uber does offer a service called "Uber for teens" aimed at giving parents an assist in this area, though the Long Island parents we spoke to didn't participate. The teen program was launched in 2023 and allows those under age 18 to enter an Uber ordered by a conjoined adult account without their parents present. 

Uber president Andrew Macdonald and Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi have spoken this year about the decline in teens receiving their licenses. Khosrowshahi, whose son is over age 18, said rideshare programs have "freed up" teens like his own from needing to get a license to get around. Uber has teen rider account options focused on this demographic. 

Nationwide, 16- and 17-year-olds make up 55% of teen account users, Uber says, and nearly half of them are using the service to take trips to school. Teen Uber accounts are available to riders ages 13 to 17 and require parental account guidance, with measures in place including PIN verification, live trip tracking, destination-locking (so the parent can set the destination) and parental notification updates along the drive. The Uber account can also be linked to a family's Life360 account. Uber did not have Long Island usage numbers immediately available.