Attack on Iran: For service members' Long Island families, a wave of anxiety

Jane Sherman woke up to a message Saturday from her eldest son, Matt: He was OK, but he had spent the morning in a bunker.

Sherman, of Wading River, said her 24-year-old son serves in the Army and is stationed in Jordan.

He told his parents and siblings that he loved them.

For Long Island families of service members, the news of the U.S.-led assault on Iran brought a wave of anxiety as they turned to encrypted messaging apps, religion and support groups to remain connected to loved ones in the Middle East.

“There’s not much he can really tell us," Sherman said in an interview. "He’s very basic in his communications. They’re really not allowed to divulge much.”

But however limited, those texts are a lifeline for Sherman, helping to bridge the more than 5,500 miles between him and his family.

It’s the first time Sherman has sent her son off for a deployment, though serving in the military runs in the family — she has uncles who served in Vietnam, a grandfather who served in World War II, cousins who were in the Gulf War. But it’s different as a mother, she said Saturday.

The devout Catholic said she’s turned to prayer as a source of comfort and is staying connected with other military moms to share updates and check on one another.

“I have a lot of faith and a lot of trust right now that he’ll be OK,” she said. “I’m hoping that with our modern warfare, and the increase in intelligence and capabilities we have, that there’ll be a lot less casualty.”

Local chapters of the national nonprofit Blue Star Mothers of America provide support to mothers whose children are in the armed forces.

Rosemarie Kluepfel, of Elwood, a veterans advocate who became president of the Suffolk County chapter in 2023, said she saw the news Saturday morning while away on vacation. Her initial reaction was concern for those service members in harm’s way.

Her daughter, Alexa Kluepfel, 29, serves as a captain in the Army Reserve and is not currently deployed, she said.

“Being a military mom is a combination of pride and fear in one,” she said. “You’re proud of your children taking that oath, especially since it’s volunteer. But always fearful for their safety.”

She said even for those service members currently stateside, there’s always the chance they can be deployed “at any moment.”

“We pray for a quick resolution,” she said.

There were no initial U.S. casualties or combat-related injuries, according to U.S. Central Command, which said its forces “successfully defended against hundreds of Iranian missile and drone attacks.” The damage from those attacks “was minimal.” President Donald Trump said Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei was killed.

Legis. Chad Lennon (C-Rocky Point), a lieutenant colonel in the Marine Corps Reserve, served four years of active duty and deployed to Afghanistan in 2010.

“This is what we do in the military, and families are always worried,” he told Newsday. “Training by itself is dangerous.”

Andrea Nordquist, of Bellmore, serves as president of the Nassau County chapter of Blue Star Mothers of America. She said there are three mothers in her chapter with four boys now deployed, including two aboard a naval ship. Two of the moms have sons who recently finished boot camp.

While she understands the service members signed up to defend their country, as mothers it can be “very difficult” to see a child in danger.

"Inside it kind of rips your heart because you’re worried where they might be and what may lie in front of them,” she said.

Her son Gregory now serves in the Air National Guard’s 106th Rescue Wing, based in Westhampton. He's been in the military for nearly 20 years, she said, and has previously deployed to Afghanistan. 

In October, Newsday reported between 500 and 1,000 active-duty National Guard and Navy and Marine Corps reserve members are currently assigned to the 106th and the Armed Forces Reserve Center Farmingdale.

Nordquist said her advice to parents of service members is to “just say a lot of prayers."