James Kirby Sr., retired commissioner of social services for Suffolk from Smithtown, dies at 97

"You can take the boy out of Kings Park," James E. Kirby Sr. would say, "but you can’t take the Kings Park out of the boy."

Kirby was raised in the tight-knit Kings Park community, where "everybody knew each other" and "everybody helped each other," his daughter, Kelley Bowman, said.

"When he was little, the coal trucks would come through town, and pieces of coal would drop off the trucks, and he and his brother and friends would pick up the ones that fell off the trucks" to sell, she said.

"If they couldn’t sell them, they gave them to people who were needy and ... couldn’t afford it," Kelley said.

Kirby died of natural causes at his Smithtown home on Feb. 2. He was 97.

Life of public service

Born Feb. 25, 1928, in New Jersey to Dennis and Margaret Kirby, he and his family moved to Kings Park when he was 1 year old.

Kirby was involved with the community from a young age. He was an altar boy at St. Joseph Church, and a three-sport letterman in baseball, basketball and track at Kings Park High School.

He chose St. Vincent de Paul for his confirmation name after the patron saint of charitable societies.

"He just grew up religious and that you’re supposed to help others when you can," said his son-in-law, Edward Bowman. "And it was ingrained in him from his youth to his death," he said.

Kirby enlisted in the U.S. Navy after graduating high school, shortly after Victory over Japan Day in August 1945.

"He was still 17. He had to get signed off" by his parents, Edward Bowman said.

After he was honorably discharged, Kirby received his degree from Pilgrim State Hospital School for Nursing in 1951 and eventually was named supervisor of the psychiatric center in Brentwood.

Kirby later received a scholarship from Adelphi University, where he earned a bachelor’s degree in administration. After that, he went to graduate school at Cornell University.

"And he went on to become the director of nursing and administration at Smithtown General Hospital," Kelley Bowman said.

He then became deputy commissioner at the Suffolk Home and Infirmary in Yaphank. In 1965, he became commissioner of public welfare in Suffolk County; the title changed the following year to make him the first commissioner of social services.

"And he stayed in that position for 18 years, until he retired in 1983," Kelley said.

In 1973, he was appointed vice president of the board of visitors for Kings Park State Hospital by Gov. Nelson Rockefeller. There "he and his colleagues were responsible for overseeing the welfare of patients," his daughter said.

He "dabbled" in real estate for a couple of years after retiring from the Suffolk County job. Kirby also worked as secretary to the Smithtown Fire Department Board of Fire Commissioners and the Smithtown Fire Department Benevolent Association.

"He was a volunteer fireman when he moved into Smithtown in 1954," Kelley said, explaining that after 18 years, he had to leave due to his workload at the county job.

"He was very involved in numerous community service organizations," Kelley said, including the March of Dimes and New York Public Welfare Association. He was a founding member of the Smithtown Booster Club.

Pride in the family name

Kelley said her parents "provided a wonderful life for my brother and myself," describing them as "a good couple."

Kirby met his late wife, Beatrice, when they were in high school. She went to Smithtown Branch School, where she was a cheerleader.

"And then years later. they ran into each other. My mom was an avid bowler, and there was a bowling dinner or something going on, and they kind of reunited," Kelley said.

"And after that, they were inseparable," she said of her parents, who married and moved to Smithtown in 1954.

Kelley and her brother were raised to treat others the way they would like to be treated. Their father often said: "It’s nice to be nice." 

"And what was really important to them was your name and what’s in a name, and you just wanted to respect your name," Kelley said. Although she "begrudgingly" goes by Bowman, she said she’d "always be a Kirby."

In addition to his daughter and son-in-law, Kirby is survived by his grandchildren, Allison and Jimmy. He was predeceased by his wife, his brothers and sister, and a son, James E. Kirby Jr., and daughter-in-law.

A funeral Mass was celebrated on Feb. 14 at. the Church of St. Joseph in Kings Park. Burial was at Smithtown Cemetery.