Sister Joan Lenihan, who dedicated life to education, social service and pastoral work, dies at 91

"Honor thy father and mother" reads the Bible’s Fifth Commandment. Few have done so more lovingly than Joan Lenihan, of the Sisters of St. Dominic of Amityville, who for her religious name took those of her parents when she became Sister Joseph Regina.

"She was well-liked, quiet and reserved," said Sister Margaret Sammon, who lived in community with her at Good Shepherd Parish in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn. There Sister Joan, as she generally was known, taught eighth grade in the elementary school for 13 years.

Sister Peggy Tully, who in the 1990s was program director of the order’s long gone Sienna Spirituality Center in Water Mill, likewise knew Sister Joan, who lived there and had served as administrator under its earlier name, Villa Maria. "She was welcoming," Sister Peggy said, "and she was dedicated to ministry."

That dedication remained even in informal settings, such as visits with family — where first thing she would change from her habit to civilian clothes. "She was so inviting and so willing to have a conversation about anything," recalled her niece, Sue Jarvis, of Denver. "I was intrigued with religion and theology," she said, "and what does it mean that you're married to God? And she always had such a kind, open, thoughtful way of sharing her experiences and ideologies and beliefs."

"And," she added, "her biggest thing, that I remember and cherish to this day, is: Have a relationship with God, whatever that looks like to you." Growing up Catholic, "Everything seemed like it had to stay in its box. She was the one who made it OK to learn about God in a different light."

Sister Joan, who lived in the nursing-care unit of the order’s Carlin Hall in its Queen of the Rosary Motherhouse, died May 16 of natural causes, at age 91. She had devoted 72 years to the religious life, first as an educator and later in social service and pastoral work.

Entered convent in 1953

Joan M. Lenihan was born April 27, 1935, in Brooklyn, the eldest of three children of Joseph A. Lenihan, an executive at a contracting firm, and Regina Hanson Lenihan, both of Queens. The family lived in the Woodhaven neighborhood before moving to Hewlett. Joseph Lenihan later entered politics, running unsuccessfully in 1966 and 1968 as a Conservative candidate for State Senate in New York’s Second senatorial District.

On Sept. 12, 1953, months after graduating from Saint Agnes Cathedral High School, now the K-8 Saint Agnes Cathedral School, in Rockville Centre, Joan Lenihan entered the Congregation of the Holy Cross in Amityville. She took her religious name on Aug. 4, 1954, and had her first profession of religious vows almost exactly one year later.

She taught in Brooklyn, and earned a bachelor of arts degree in English literature from St. John’s University. She later received a master of arts degree in religious studies from the Dominican Order’s Providence College, in Rhode Island.

In 1968, Sister Joan was named principal of the Catholic elementary school serving the parish of St. Therese of Lisieux Church, in Montauk, and additionally taught seventh and eighth grades there.

Her other roles over the years included coordinator of services for Catholic Charities and a pastoral associate at Queen of the Most Holy Rosary Church in Bridgehampton. In 1998, she moved to Lindenhurst and worked in the order’s now-defunct Amityville daycare center, Kindertowne. Later she moved to the order’s motherhouse.

"She loved Long Island," Jarvis said, but also "loved to hang out with the family" in other cities. "I was a hairdresser. I loved doing her hair. She had this beautiful, naturally wavy hair and she liked to keep it real short but she liked it a certain way. And I always loved to do her hair and she always loved it when I did it."

In addition to her niece, Sister Joan is survived by her sister, Carol Lenihan, of Denver, and four other nieces. She was predeceased by her brother, Thomas Lenihan.

A wake and funeral took place May 21 at St. Albert Chapel in Amityville, followed by a Mass of Christian Burial and interment in St. Dominic Cemetery on the motherhouse grounds.